A High Calling

Here I am, Lord, uniquely gifted with skill, time, and energy graciously provided by you. I recognize this. And I believe that you have me where you want me, which means that this particular job that I thought last week was a real bummer is, in actual fact, a high calling, and I am going to live and work today as if that is exactly what it is.

I have this short paragraph displayed very prominently in my office as a reminder of why I do what I do and for whom. I really don’t recall where I first read it, but it so intrigued me that I copied it down. My friends tell me I analyze everything to death, and maybe I do and I have.

Whatever makes up who I am comes from the hand of God. It may be much or little; other people may watch with envy at the level of expertise I may have in what I do or they may shake their head in wonder that I’ve gotten as far as I have. My day may be crammed with more “things” to do, places to go, and people to see than I can get to or I may not be able, for whatever reason, to step outside my door. Still, I recognize that God has granted me personality, gifts, talents, and a certain number of days in which He expects me to become the best I can at what He has for me to do. Actually that is the only gift I can give back to Him–what I do with my life.

I do believe I am where God wants me and doing the particular job He has called me to do. So, in light of that statement of belief, the only task ahead of me, regardless of how compartmentalized it may be, is to finish what I’ve started. The Lord Jesus Christ has set me upon a path, within a particular time frame, and given me the tools with which to become and do. Therefore, when I look at my job in this light, I realize that it is a high calling.

What do I do now? Follow suit; stick to the course; reach for the stars; continue on; excel; never quit becoming; stay focused, and finish what has begun. This life of mine that is a high calling? I will live and work today as if that is exactly what it is.

Grams

What I Missed

My computer has been in the shop. Keith took it to the Apple Store but they didn’t know what to do with it, so it was sent off for repair. I had not realized how attached I’d become to my MacBook. When I went home in the evenings I hardly knew what to do. I watched some movies and read something I didn’t have to edit, but those no longer held the appeal they once did. I really missed my laptop.

Keith hooked me up with an extra laptop at the office, but I couldn’t take it home ’cause it didn’t work really well if it was moved around a lot. So, even though I could work at my office, I still didn’t have my “toy” to play with in the evenings. Now, I know what you might be thinking, but you’d be wrong. I didn’t spend hours on the Internet; I didn’t play Solitaire or other mindless games; but I did write. And that’s what I have realized I missed. Not so much my tool, but the product this tool helped me create. And there’s where the attraction lay–writing.

I got my MacBook back today and it seems to be fixed. So, I can write and when I get through, I can write some more. I really need to catch up; I’d better hurry.

Grams

Totally Adequate

“There is no room for feelings of inadequacy before a totally adequate God”–Cinda King. When I read that I almost sat upright. In one short sentence, man’s place before almighty God has been defined. The writer is not talking about man’s failures and inabilities as compared to the power and magnificence of Jehovah God, but about God’s might and power that enables Him to completely supply all His children will ever need. Therefore, none of us, if we have made Christ Lord of our lives, are inadequate because He is not.

The word feelings caught my attention. The one idea that is touted today is that if it feels right, if it feels good, then do it. So, feelings rule; not intellect; not reason, and definitely not faith. So this idea of feelings washes over into everything we do and with the people we associate. It determines how we respond; whether or not we go or stay; even if we believe God or not.

What do I think this writer was really saying? Simply that before an omnipotent God, the God who spoke all that exists into being, I have no right to take the way out by claiming I’m inadequate. He has promised to supply whatever I need to do and be whatever He calls me to. Feelings–dangerous thoughts and emotions that can stymie the power of God. The next time you feel inadequate, instead of glorying in your perceived humility, remember that you stand before a “totally adequate God” and He makes you more than adequate.

Grams

That’s a Big Bathtub!

Ellie held tightly to her dad’s hand. This was her first time at the beach and today would be a special day. She stood still, taking in as many of the sights and sounds as she could. The noise of the wind as it ruffled her hair, the waves rolling toward her and then back out to sea, the smell of salt water, the seagulls as they dipped and dived at unseen food, the sun that made diamonds sparkle out on the water, and the crunch of the sand under her feet were almost too much for a two year old.

Ellie took a deep breath and tugged on her dad’s hand. Chris stooped down so he could hear. “Daddy,” Ellie said, “that sure is a big bathtub”!

Oh, the wonder of God’s creation seen through the eyes of a child. Before the day was over and Chris, Tori, and Ellie headed home, Ellie had found a new playground. She played in the sand, let the waves splash her legs as she walked along the water’s edge, and, wonder of wonders, picked up seashells washed up to her from the floor of the ocean, almost like a gift.

On the ride home, a tired little girl slept, dreaming of sand, sun, water, seashells, and the day she got to play with her mommy and daddy in God’s big bathtub.

Grams

Patch and Repatch

The restaurant was packed. It was Friday night and in our town people go out to eat, particularly on the weekend. It seems everyone wants to celebrate the end of the work week. This night was no different.

My friends and I had just gotten our food and was about to eat when something like black strings or yarn seemed to hang from my glasses. I reached up to push them away or pull them off, but I could not feel anything there. The friend I was with asked what I was doing. I replied I was trying to get some black strings off my glasses. She looked kind of perplexed and said, “There’s nothing there.” That’s when I knew something had gone wrong with my left eye.Then the white light flashing in the corner of my eye began. I didn’t know what had happened, but I knew this could be serious.

The next day I went to an optometrist for an eye exam. After a very careful examination he told me I’d had a posterior visceous detachment but the retina was not torn. The following Monday I got an appointment with an ophthalmologist who confirmed the earlier diagnosis. However, during this exam the doctor discovered that I have cataracts. The right eye needed surgery as soon as I could arrange it. So another part of me had to be fixed.

This year has been the year of patch and repatch. July 2007 began this process of fixing things as they either quite working as they were supposed to or came loose. In July it was discovered that I have a “stiff” heart. Not a hard heart, but an inflexible one. Basically it is not soft and pliable as it should be and so it doesn’t pump all of the blood out of my heart, which causes blood to back up and not get to all of the places it needs to go. This in turn causes fluid to build up, and the scenario can just escalate from there. There isn’t much of a cure; just aggressive blood pressure control, eliminate fluid build up, and keep as much stress off my heart as possible. Sounds simple enough, that is until you try to keep up your same pace. That’s when the truth hits you right between the eyes–you will no longer be the same physically. Gone are the days of running on empty, sleeping a few hours, and starting all over again the next day. And now, my eyes needed fixing.

I tend to think that things happen for a reason, particularly for the child of God. And I’ve often told people that nothing touches the Christian that doesn’t first pass through God’s hands. So, how do I reconcile my beliefs with what is happening to me physically? It hasn’t been easy.

I suppose the most difficult part has been learning to pace myself, to slow down and rest. I have always done what needed doing whenever it needed to be done and I didn’t need anyone’s help either. But now I can’t clean my house. I can’t drive 9 hours to see my grandchildren. And the list could just go on and on. However, there are some things I will be able to do once I make some lifestyle changes and learn to pace myself. Even when I have the lens replacement done I’ve been assured that I’ll only need reading glasses. I’ve not seen that well since I was a child. So, all is not lost. My life is not over.

I have come to realize that God surely must have let my symptoms manifest themselves in order to give me more life, not take it from me. My heart, while not cured, is manageable. It is something I’m learning to live with. I do what I can and rest when I need to; I pick and choose what I do, when, where, and for how long. And with new eyes, I should be able to continue editing for several more years, not to mention writing. So, what I first thought was the bleakest of circumstances has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Instead of taking my life, God is making it possible for me to continue to contribute, to be a viable participant in life.

I would be remiss if I did not mention the gift God has given me in faithful friends who have walked with me through all of these changes. They constantly remind me to slow down, to rest, watch my diet, be sure I take my medicine, and just generally nag me to do what the doctor says. They know I love them and appreciate all they do because I’ve told them.

Whether I live to be 80 or only another day, either way the best is yet to come. And I’m very thankful.

Grams

God’s Lay-away

It was hunter green and made of the softest brushed suede. Chris looked through the rack. Yep, there was one in his size. He slipped it off the rack and tried it on; it was a perfect fit. Gently his hands rubbed the suede; he checked the fit in the mirror. Before he asked, I reminded him it was $149.99. I did not have the money and saw no way to come up with it. Besides, I could get two for the price of that one at Wal Mart.

He knew, even before I said anything. But he wanted that jacket. He asked how much would I be willing to pay. He was intent on working out a deal with me. That was his style and he was good at it too. I thought for a minute; I wanted to be sure of my terms before I said anything. “OK, if the price drops below $50, I’ll get it for you, providing there is still one in your size.” He grinned and said, “It’s a deal.”

I turned to walk on but Chris lingered. He had taken the jacket off, put it back on the rack, and was standing there, holding on to the jacket with his head down. Great! Now he was praying.

Chris didn’t mention the jacket anymore, but every time we went to Belks, he always checked that rack. His size was still there. Then, one day the price was down to $115. He just grinned and walked on. Each week we made a trip to Belks just to check the price of that jacket. As the price continued to drop, I knew I had better find $50 somewhere.

Several weeks later we walked into the store for our weekly price check. Three jackets remained on the rack. The sign read, $39.95. Chris looked up at me with anticipation. What if after all this time there was not one in his size? He looked at the three remaining jackets. Yes! One was his size! He tried it on again, just to be sure it fit. He said, “I knew God would give me this jacket. I needed one and I asked Him for this one.” Then, he again bowed his head; this time he was thanking his provider, not asking.

That day a happy little boy walked out with a hunter green, brushed suede jacket God had put on lay-away, just for him. That same day a proud momma was humbled by the faith of her 12 year-old son.

Grams

Learning Excellence

“You can read any book I have.” Daddy had just given me permission to read his books. Now that might not seem like such a big deal to most people, but to a 13 year-old “bookworm” that was heaven. No longer did I have to wait until I could get to the local library. If I was out of something to read, I could just go to his bookshelves and choose a book. The biggest decision I faced at the moment was deciding which book to read first.

I usually read one to two books a day. I could do that as long as I kept my grades up. Daddy had only one standard–excellence. It was the standard he set for himself and he expected the same from his children. We were encouraged to follow our interests, to become who God meant for us to be. Whatever your capabilities were, he expected you to use them to the fullest extent.

So, for me that meant study, read, talk with him about what I’d read, and then read some more. I credit my father with my love for learning, reading, and now writing. I didn’t use writing as a means of expression when growing up. That seemed to be a time when I was absorbing, learning, finding out what my interests were and what I was going to do with them. The writing came much later.

For a long time I did not consider writing more than academic. But then God placed me at Randall House. For the past decade I’ve had the opportunity to develop a love for writing that did not exist before. One contributing factor has been my work as an editor. Through the editorial process I’ve read work that was publishable and then some that was destined for file #13. The technical side has progressed until I no longer consider myself a novice. Where do I go from here?

A good friend and associate encouraged me to open a blog. I knew others at work were blogging. In fact, all my editors were so it made sense for me to follow suit. Hence, Grams Writes, The Rambling Musings of a Southern Rose.

This is one of the most enjoyable pursuits I’ve embarked upon in my adult life. Through this avenue I’m developing the artistic side of writing–description, dialogue, setting, and character. I’ve not mastered it yet, but I will continue to try. Will I be successful? I guess we’ll have to wait and see. Do I have a book to write? Who knows? One thing I do know, God did not give me this desire to write and not expect me to do something with it. So, again, we’ll see.

Grams

Jehovah-jireh

It was time. Chris had just bought his first vehicle, which meant he would pay his own auto insurance. The last financial tie to me was about to be cut. He was as proud as I was happy. Then the phone rang. There was a problem with the insurance. Actually, it was with his driving license. It had been suspended. When? Four years ago. Why? He had failed to notify the Safety Board of proof of insurance after an accident he’d had.  Neither of us knew that was a requirement. This did not look good. Possibly a large fine.

Chris had been driving with a suspended license for four years. To add to the dilemma, he was a member of the Evangels, a group at his college that traveled over the country presenting gospel dramas. He was also the driver. The thought of what could have happened in those four years sent chills up my spine, but the faithfulness and protection of almighty God far outweighed any fears I had entertained.

To reinstate the license Chris had to go to the Safety Board with proof of insurance at the time of the accident that had resulted in the suspension. That was easy enough. The hard part was payment of the fine that stared him in the face. If is was substantial, he was in trouble.

I went with him to the Safety Board. Apparently we were not the only ones in trouble that day. Long lines stood before each window. What we needed was a kind, considerate person to whom we could present our case. He and I studied how each clerk responded to the different problems that were presented and made our choice.

Whether it was our choice or the hand of God, we definitely made the right choice. No one could have been more understanding and kind. She looked at the documentation Chris gave her and keyed in the information. He had his check book in hand. When he asked how much he owed, she smiled and said, “There’s no fine for this. You clearly had insurance when the accident occurred. Your license is reinstated.” We thanked her and headed for the exit before she changed her mind.

Standing on the steps at the front door, Chris looked up to the sky and proclaimed for all to hear: “Jehovah has jirehed again”!

Was the boy happy? Oh, yeah!

Grams

Sam or Frodo?

The burden grew heavier each day. Almost unbearable, yet he had agreed to make the journey and he would do what was expected of him. It was his responsibility. The ring must be destroyed, at all costs. He was set upon his course; he was headed for the mountain where the fire that had birthed the ring waited to destroy it. But he was not alone. Sam walked every mile with him, always helping, ever alert for danger. Now they were nearing the end.

Frodo lay unmoving, unable to stand. The mountain was in sight; they were so near, yet so far. Sam reached down, and pulled Frodo onto his shoulders. ” Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you” (my favorite line in the entire trilogy).

Sam was Frodo’s gardener, a simple man in some people’s minds. He was not the one entrusted with the ring. He was not the one people looked to for leadership nor was he expected to have all the answers. Yet, when the going was the toughest, Sam came through. It is doubtful Frodo’s mission would have been successful had Sam not tagged along.

Loyal. That’s how I’d describe Sam. He was never very far from Frodo. Although Frodo was committed to destroying the ring, Sam was committed to Frodo. The task that had been thrust upon Frodo was made easier by Sam’s loyalty and faithfulness. When Frodo could go no farther, Sam stepped to the plate; he stood in the gap.

“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you.”

Has God entrusted you with a task that, at times, seems almost impossible to complete? Exhausted you lay crumpled, unable to get up. Despair washes over you, draining you of every ounce of courage you ever possessed. You need a Sam who will come alongside you, pick you up and set you back on the course God has planned for you. Look around. Somewhere, maybe lurking back in the shadows, God has placed a Sam in your life to watch out for you; to step to the plate; to stand in the gap when life becomes tough.

“I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you.”

Don’t miss out on the blessing of being Sam. Frodo needs you.

Grams

In Step With Jesus

Andrew raised his arms and threw with all his might. The net sailed over his head and out into the water landing exactly where he wanted it. Slowly he began the arduous task of hauling in the net with its catch. A smile played along his lips. He enjoyed being out on the water, tasting the salt in the wind as the waves rocked the boat back and forth. Business was good; all the hard work he and his brother had done was finally paying off. They even had plans of adding another boat to their fishing business. Maybe that could happen before the next fishing season got under way.

Walking alongside the Sea of Galilee, Jesus stopped to watch as Simon and Andrew cast their nets. He called to them, “Follow me, and I will make you become fishers of me.” The Scripture says that they immediately left their nets and followed Him.

The nets symbolized everything about those two men. They were fishermen; this was their livelihood; the way they paid their bills. It was their identity; who they were. But at the call of Jesus both unhesitatingly dropped their nets, docked their boat, and got in step with Jesus. These men left behind all they had been previously and followed Jesus of Nazareth.

When Jesus calls us today, He asks us to do the same thing Simon and Andrew did–to leave all and follow Him. Maybe we do not have to change our occupation as those two did. That depends upon the role Jesus has for each of us in His kingdom’s work, but our decision to become a follower of Jesus Christ entails a complete surrender of who we are, our dreams and aspirations, as we give the Lord Jesus Christ first place in our lives.

Why would two fishermen willingly turn their backs on who they were to become completely different? Why should you and I be willing to do that? Could it be because Jesus has made a better offer? How does the best this world has to offer stack up against what you have when you become a follower of the Son of God? How do you think fishing compared to eternal life? When Jesus calls you to come follow Him, lay aside whatever you’re doing and get in step with Jesus. You will become a fisher of men.

Grams